Start Your Wedding Planning Journey with Healthy Communication

Hey there, miss bride-to-be! Welcome to the Calm Wedding Planning series by wedding photographer, Sarah Ann Sargent! I’m so glad you’re here and cannot wait to get started.

If you're recently engaged (or soon to be), congratulations! This is such an exciting time in your life as you prepare to spend forever with your best friend. It's a big decision, and your wedding day deserves all the care and intentionality in the world. But let's be real…

Starting your wedding planning journey can be a bit overwhelming. That dreamy Pinterest board suddenly turns into a long list of decisions. Where do you even start? Guest list? Budget? Vendors? And why are you suddenly crying?

Deep breath.

Since 2015, I’ve either been planning my own wedding or answering all of my 100+ brides’ questions. I know all the decisions you'll need to make, and how quickly this day will come and go. That's why I'm passionate about helping you feel calm and composed as you plan your elegant, sentimental wedding day filled with memories you'll cherish forever.

Liz & Jacob | Classic Romance wedding at the Dixon Garden in Memphis, Tn

Before the Engagement

Laying the Foundation

Before you ever talk about venues, colors, or budgets, it’s so important to set the foundation of your wedding planning journey with honest, healthy communication between you and your partner. These conversations help you honor each other throughout the entire process and make future decisions feel clearer and lighter.

Here are some meaningful questions to ask one another. You don’t have to answer them all at once. Think of these as ongoing conversations you revisit as your relationship grows.

Marriage

What are your expectations in marriage?
Are you open to marriage counseling, now or in the future?
How do you see yourselves in 5 years, 10 years, or even 30 years?
How do you plan to manage finances together?
How do you envision parenting together, if that’s part of your future?
How will you divide household responsibilities?

These questions aren’t meant to create pressure. They’re meant to create clarity and trust.

Engagement

How do you see us getting engaged?
What style of ring do you like?
Will you ask my father for permission to marry me?
Who do you want present during the proposal?
Are there any unspoken expectations about the engagement that I should know about?
Do you want a photographer there?!

Pro tip: If you already have a photographer in mind, let your fiancé know early so they can coordinate that moment thoughtfully.

Wedding

How do you picture us getting married?
What time of year feels right?
What size, location, budget, and level of formality do you envision?
Who will be paying for the wedding?
Who will have a voice in decisions?
What do you hope the overall feel of the day will be?

Honeymoon

Have you dreamed about a certain type of honeymoon?
All-inclusive resort? Road trip? Cruise? International adventure?
What budget feels realistic?
How long can you take off work?
What romantic expectations do you have for this time together?

These conversations help align your hearts long before the logistics show up.

After Your Engagement

Understanding who you are together

Once you’ve talked through expectations and dreams, it’s time to explore who you are as individuals and as a couple. This part is often overlooked, but it plays a huge role in designing a wedding day that actually feels like you.

Here are some questions to ask next.

As Individuals

How would you describe your personality?
What hobbies do you enjoy?
What music do you love?
What is your professional background?
What is your family history like?
Are you more traditional or laid-back?
Formal or casual?
Are there values, causes, or cultures you want reflected in your wedding?

Shared Interests

Are there parts of your love story you want woven into the wedding day?
What activities do you enjoy doing together?
Do you share values or causes you want to honor publicly?
How can you celebrate both of your families intentionally?

Remember, it’s not just two people getting married.
It’s two entire families coming together as one!

Your Parents or Parental Figures

Inviting others into the conversation

Now it’s time to bring the people who matter most into the conversation. Depending on your family dynamics, this could be parents, parental figures, or close loved ones. For simplicity, I’ll refer to them as your parents throughout this section.

Share Your Combined Wedding Dreams

Invite them to dinner at a comfortable, semi-private location. There is something about sharing a meal that softens nerves and opens hearts. Start by casting the vision you and your fiancé have already discussed, including values, traditions, and the overall experience you hope to create.

Ask Engaging Questions So They Feel Involved

Help them feel included by asking thoughtful questions.
What expectations do you have for our wedding?
Do you have any hopes, fears, or concerns?
Are there family traditions you’d love to continue?
Are there important people you feel strongly about inviting?
Do you have any skills or talents you’d love to contribute?

When people feel heard early, they tend to support more peacefully later.

Talk About Finances

Finances can feel awkward, but clarity now prevents stress later. You might say, “As we begin forming our wedding budget, we’d love to know if or how you’d like to be involved financially.” Write everything down. You’ll use this information when creating your wedding budget.

Talk About Available Dates

Share the season you’re considering and choose five to ten potential dates that work for everyone involved. Be mindful of holidays, important events, and family milestones.

Finish with Gratitude

No matter how involved your family chooses to be, emotionally or financially, end the conversation with genuine thanks. Gratitude sets the tone for the rest of the planning journey.

PRO TIP:

Traditionally, the bride’s family manages wedding expenses while the groom’s family hosts the rehearsal dinner. Whether or not you follow tradition, these roles should be clearly discussed early to avoid confusion later.

Pick Your Battles

Protecting peace over perfection

Some of the more tricky aspects of wedding planning has to do with navigating family expectations, especially when everyone has different opinions. But the key is to pick your battles. Sometimes it may look like compromising, while other times, it may look like standing your ground. But above all, try your best to respect everyone where they are at. By inviting each other into healthy communication upfront, you're far less likely to have events happen later that cause discord.

In comparison, there may be times when it appears you have no help. It's okay to ask for assistance! You may think they don't want to help, but in fact, they could be fearful of stepping on your toes. Get creative and delegate tasks so that everyone who showed interest feels involved.

Final Thoughts

When you create space for honest communication, people feel seen, valued, and respected, even if everything doesn’t go exactly as imagined. Hard conversations often become the most meaningful ones.

Managing family dynamics may be one of the hardest parts of wedding planning. But when you start with healthy communication, this season becomes lighter, calmer, and far more joyful!!!

This is exactly how the Calm Wedding Planning Series is meant to begin. When you choose to start with healthy communication, it will make this season of your life that much easier!

Next up in the L&B Wedding Planning Series…

The Benefits of Hiring a Licensed Wedding Planner

View other posts in the L&B Wedding Planning Series here: